Every marriage is different, and ours, being cross-cultural, Stephen, and I chose to get married relatively soon after we began dating because. He was shy, yes — but also very careful in his relationships with women. Though both had already considered cross-cultural marriage an. In times past people held to their own blood relationships, guarded their own identity, But when the two cultures mixed and inter-married, when they influenced.
Sobering Advice for anyone contemplating a cross-cultural marriage
Cross cultural dating and marriage - Dating differently
This is an observation by Caroline, an American who has been married to Kirui, a Kenyan for six years. She says that her biggest challenge at the beginning was offensive remarks made by his friends. This stopped her from getting resentful. Over the years, she has heard many remarks about the colour of her skin but she says she learnt not to quickly take offence. She imagined that it was enough that the two of them could communicate. When she met the rest of his family who mostly spoke their mother tongue, she often felt alienated.
Sometimes she even feared that they were speaking about her. Scripture is clear that when a man and a woman enter into the covenant of marriage, they become a new family, regardless of whether or not they have children. Being in a cross-cultural marriage, my husband and I were faced with not only the expected differences that come from growing up in different families but also the differences from the cultures in which we were raised.
And on top of that, we were living an hour away from his family and half a world away from mine. I think often when we get married, we forget how monumental of a change is, even when marriage feels easy and light. My home is with Stephen, and he and our son are my first family, but I have to remember to give myself room to miss the parts of my life that happen in a different country.
In the early days of married life, I often doubted that God would still use my life in a meaningful way, forgetting that what is meaningful and purposeful to Him often looks still and quiet to us. So there you have it. We can then celebrate a richness of diversity in our family. As we began the process of expressing our views on various issues, we realized that we had more in common than we thought because our world views were based on the same source—the Word of God.
With Christ as our foundation, we could agree on most of the important decisions. Why stay rooted in Jesus? If a cross-cultural couple builds their foundation on the Rock of Jesus Christ, that house could be uprooted and re-established anywhere on the planet without the slightest hint of entering new territory. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
As a middle-class American, my thinking is often permeated with materialism and individualism. Yet, when it comes to decisions that need to be made, what makes our marriage tick is the commonality of the gospel.
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